Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bieber Haters and Other Sour Grapes

Okay, I'll admit it: I like Justin Bieber.

Man, it's like Step One: admit you've got a problem.  I've seen his smooth-cheeked face on just about every magazine imaginable, right up to and including Vanity Fair.

Young Mr. Bieber may have to get an unrestricted driver's license before we see him on the cover of GQ, but I doubt it's far off.  He's on a tear.

Up until a few minutes ago, I hadn't heard a single one of his songs.  No, not one.  And now I have and while it's a little lightweight - he's a kid, after all - it gets the toes tapping.  He's got a clear, sweet voice and his delivery is strong.  Mix in a healthy dose of production magic with some big names on the mixer board, and baby you're a star.

Bieber has been paired with some solid names in popular music.  He's gotten some major backing from Usher - who was part of the big push behind getting him recognized, signed, and packaged into the rising star that he is today - and was actually being fought over by other labels.  So, maybe singing your little heart out on YouTube isn't such a dumb idea, hey?  That's where all this starts, and with Bieber's mom posting the vids.

Accoding to Wikipedia, so you know it's totally solid facts from back to front,  Bieber is sorta athletic, typical Canadian kid, hockey nut, soccer kid, and kept his musical bent to himself.   Looks like Mom took care of that.

So Justin Bieber's got chops.  He's got real talent, and it shows.  He's got major backing, and when it comes time to put out the polished, slick music modern audiences demand, that's a necessity.

But call out the name "Bieber" in a crowded room, and while females under the age of twenty might perk right up and look around, any guy of a similar age may well start throwing stuff.  The male resentment and backlash against Bieber is strong, and I think I know where it's coming from.  Those guys are jealous.

So am I.  Well, not so much - I don't want to have to learn to shave again, and now that I've been out of high school for a couple of decades, that's one angst-ridden cesspool of adolescent drama I'm not sorry to put behind me.  But what about all those boys out there who didn't get discovered, who aren't going to suffer the endless adulation of millions - that's right, millions - of screaming pretty girls?  Well, they're a little annoyed that this little Canuck has turned their girlfriends' attention off of themselves, that's all.

So what's it gonna be, guys?  Whip out the microphones and start singing into your computers.  Take up juggling.  Write a novel - I don't have the patience for the plot development, myself, that's why I'm here - or at least a short story.  Maybe you could crank out a magazine article, explaining a guy's perspective on the whole Bieber phenomenon.  My point is, there's spitefully hating on somebody who has some honest talent and got a little lucky and is riding that wave, and there's doing something about developing your own star power.

And there are some who just can't accept that Time Marches On.  Listening to a few AC/DC tunes on YouTube, I noticed a couple of things.  Firstly, every AC/DC song featured some anti-Bieber epithets in the comments section.  That was a little weird.  Second, several of the songs' comment sections featured a lot of anti-Brian Johnson rage.

Come on, people.  Johnson's been fronting AC/DC for over THIRTY YEARS.  That's five times longer than Bon Scott was even at the mic, if Johnson keeps it up until 2014 he'll have been singing for AC/DC as long as Bon Scott was even breathing.

So if you gotta hate on Justin Bieber, if you gotta hate on Brian Johnson and a Van Zant-less Lynyrd Skynyrd, maybe you need to dust off your LPs and push back from the radio.  Nothing coming out of that thing is going to please you.  Somebody's got to make the music, and if it isn't you, don't complain.  Either listen or don't.

This Bieber kid isn't awful.  I might even buy one of his CDs.

They do still make those, right?  Man, I miss records.

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