The Mentor*

 

Dark felt him arrive within her.  She felt his nothingness impinge on her own, an emphasis of things unsaid, of thoughts unrealized.

Like her sister, Dark towered immensely above galaxies, wading through them as they swirled around her.  She liked the way they tingled.  But she wasn’t concentrating on a tingle now.  She was concentrating on something, where nothing had been before.  Dark knew what that meant.

are you in there, she thought.  can you hear me.  Where Light could make herself known across any distance, Dark was subtle.  Knowing Dark was always an exercise.

yes

Ah.  there you are.  how is it?

I do not know how to answer that

good, that’s fine.

am I supposed to be doing anything right now

no, no.  be less of that.  be none of that, if you can.  nothing is limitless until you start to make something of it, and then you lose nothing.

…that was a little confusing…

I know.  don’t let it worry you.  She gave his mind, the vanishing nothingness of him, a little push to send him further down, further in, feeling his consciousness recede.  He might come out on his own presently: in a moment, a millennium, or never.  She might pull him out or simply let him dissipate inside her, his light slowly fading into the Dark.

Some gods came out of the Dark, but they generally didn’t.  This one had gone into Darkness before and once or twice – she wasn’t counting – she had thought she felt him beginning to coalesce out of nothing.  But it wouldn’t work, and his spark would fade until Light happened upon him again, he built his universes, and he would pursue a line of inquiry that brought him to her.  Again and again and again, his spark would appear, the tickle where nothing should be, and she would give him a gentle push in the right direction, and that would be that until the next time.   She kind of liked this one, she appreciated his resilience.  And Light was disposed toward him which naturally endeared him to herself as well.  Where Light went, Dark invariably followed. 

Where Dark went, though, sometimes Light could not.  Of the twins, Dark was older.  It was easy to forget, but so many gods danced on the very edge of the realization.  So often one would proclaim, “let there be light!” and lo, there was light and Light, and the silly little god preened in his success, never realizing that Dark had been there the whole time.  She would smile quietly, epochs of amusement rippling across the cosmoses.

The gods who called for light rarely learned the lesson of nothing.  Nothing was more than they could handle.  They swaggered and boasted and ruled jealously over minutiae – how close they were to having a grasp on nothing! – and after their last selfishly created worshippers had gasped its last and crumbled to dust, they faded away.  Their Light went out and into the Dark they went, having learned nothing in the end.

What a waste.  Or was it?  They never came back to report their findings.

This little fellow, however, was something else.  He had born himself from himself, which was pretty standard for gods, and eaten his former self – also not surprising.  He had had promise before; some of his earlier selves had gone inside her to explore nothing, always with great potential.  So she always welcomed him into herself, feeling him becoming smaller and fainter as he came to grips with the realization that nothing was greater than himself.  But he kept trying, which she appreciated.  Most didn’t come back even once for a second chance at making sense of nothing.

Nothing was not greater than Dark, of course.  She contained it within herself.  One could be excused for imagining that nothing wouldn’t need containing, but it most definitely did.  Dark was a natural for it, and had contained nothing for as long as she could remember.

Light wandered by, and Dark embraced her with affection.  That was another thing: Dark was neither cold nor hot, though it was assumed she was icily, bitingly cold.  Dark was nothing of the sort, she was merely there.  Light’s own warmth passed through Dark as it always did.  She felt it, reveling in the incoherent but luxurious energy, passing through her and back into Light herself.  Light felt the warmth and the truth of its passage through Dark, and embraced her sister some more.

Light wandered on.  She did that.  Dark would probably join her soon; that was what she did.

Eons passed, or perhaps no time at all.  It wasn’t important.  Light watched more young gods feverishly debating causality and getting all of it wrong when Dark felt a funny tickle.

mmm?

“What is it?”

I think…I think he’s coming out.

“Really?  How exciting!”

it is.  he’ll be the first of him, I think.

“You had another one, once.”

more than once.  oof.  that was a long time ago. or will be.  he became very non-linear, very interesting to talk to if you don’t mind the questions you’re about to ask having been answered already.

how am I supposed to…

ah.  I hear you.  can you come to me?

all right

here, take hold.  hold on to me.   Light, help us…

Light reached into Dark.  “There you are!  Come with me.”  The young god emerged from Darkness, immeasurably changed from when he went in.  He blinked slowly at Light.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, with the realization that perception up until that point had been wanting and now, with so much more perception to draw upon, Light was almost beyond bearing even for a god.

Light had never had any illusions.  “As are you,” she responded graciously.  And reflecting her brilliance, he was.  Then he turned to Dark.

He couldn’t tell Dark she was beautiful.  He had been about to, but it was too huge a truth to speak, to even face.  Light was beautiful but Dark was so much more.  To try to give it voice could only diminish it.  There was nothing he could say.

Faced with Dark, filled with the knowledge of nothing, a young god wept with joy.

Dark smiled.  Epochs of sympathy rippled across the cosmoses.  it’s a lot, isn’t it?

“I had no idea!”

Light embraced the little fellow.  “Don’t try to sort it all out just yet.  But would you like to consider expanding your understanding?”

“I don’t know if I can take it.”  He continued to gaze into Dark, hungrily.  “But I want to.”

“Okay.”  Light turned to look into Dark, too.  “What do you think?”

Dark shrugged.   Time fell in slow waves around her, glimmering faintly. dichotomies.

“All right.  Now, young one.  Do you remember the exercise with my fingers?”

“Yes.  You asked if there was more nothing.”

“Right.  We had been talking about infinities.”

“Infinity.”

“Infini-ties,” Light clarified.  “Look at Dark, my darling.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

She soothed him gently.  “Shush, of course you can.  Just look.  Show him, love.”

Dark pressed her fingers together gently.

“Dark is nothing.  She is infinite nothing, nothing beyond measure.  Look at the space between her fingers.”

“Okay.”

Dark pressed her fingers together tighter.

“Now.  Remember the first lesson?  And Dark is infinite nothing, with nothing between her fingers, and now they’re pressed tighter together.  What is in the space between her fingers?”

The last time he’d been asked this question, a young god had been tentative and confused.  He sounded far surer now.  “An infinity of nothing.”

Light nodded.  “Good.  Now: what is outside of her fingers?”  Dark pressed her fingers together a little more tightly.  Singularities foamed in and out of existence between them, the mathematics of infinitesimal points of potential wrenching back and forth between reality and possibility.

He looked at her fingers, then around them.  Dark’s finger pressed together tighter still and time began to collapse around them.  what is the inverse of infinite nothing?  you started to see the edge of it from inside me.  what lies beyond the edge of infinity?

“Oh,” he said, and winked out.

“Oh!” Light gasped.  She brightened, a happy laugh escaping her.  “I feel him!”  She gleamed.  She flared.  “I feel him!”

She blazed. And Dark knew how a god faced with unutterable beauty had felt.

*This story follows the metaphysical events of "The Student."